Online Article Namechecking Subsekt..

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Re: Online Article Namechecking Subsekt..

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I seen it too with some people in school & friends. We all lost touch for some reason or another but mainly because our lifestyles were incompatible with each others. I still regret that we're no longer in contact but there's so much water under the bridge it's hard to know how we'd be able to get back.

I think hard drugs are a taboo & once broken it's very very difficult to never say never. Yeah, we're all lucky because it is fairly indescriminate as to who goes off the rails.. But as Pat mentioned, the foundation you get in life has a lot to do with things. For sure.

Remember reading some research in college about teens on drugs / drink. They categorised them into 3 groups.

Kids with domineering parents = No confidence & at risk from developing long term problems.

Kids with cRaZY parents, addicts, personal issues etc .. Few positive role models = high risk of developing long term problems.

Kids with loving & supportive parents =More likely to go off & explore / experiment , then return back to the secure base.

Rings true with common sense IMO.
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Yeah that's true. I had a pretty good upbringing, well balanced support and discipline. I think it's part of the reason I always managed to ride the edge and pull back rather than plunge over.
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Re: Online Article Namechecking Subsekt..

Post by UN!T B »

Hades wrote:
UN!T B wrote:New Subsekt challenge.

Adopt a drug addict from a 3rd world country have him stay with you for 2 months. The object is 3 fold:

1. Stop him from selling any of your gear or laptop for drugs.
2. Stop him from banging the wife while you are out for milk.
3. Teach him to make a track.
Bonus points if the track is actually good.
Who's in? :D
well, that was the whole damn point though : in the approx 10 years of forum and email conversations I saw him gradually decline into a druggie.
He still had a job 90% of the times during these years, it's not like he lived on the streets, but every single evening first thing he did was get coke and then off to make tracks.
The guy was constantly making tracks, I didn't have to teach him that.
And he was out of rehab when I took him in.

But anyway, like I said : I'd rather not talk about all that in public.
But imagine you see one of our members you "think" you got to know well gradually change into a junkie.
You got a big house, you "seem" to get along fine with the dude.
I believe in doing good on this planet if you can, so shoot me for being naive and helpful.

If the guy's personality would have been a bit less self-centered, things might have turned out far better.
Believe it or not, but I never had any problems with his junkie-part.
He wouldn't have known where to find it where I live anyway, the town is too small, and we had to literally almost take him by the hand or he'd hardly go anywhere,
though one would presume he would have taken the chance to see a little from Europe if you've been given the chance.
He never did, unless we took him along somewhere.
I just think it sounds like a challenge. I sort of picture a video game type scenario where I am running back and forth round the house. It really wouldn't be the Hades challenge if it didn't involve a potential moment of hell now would it?

Who said you were naive? I didn't say you were naive.... I am aware that you understand the function of the R button in Operator.

I am constantly amazed at how you manage to extrapolate 4-6 paragraphs of material from a single sentence that I may post.
Hades wrote: stop being such a total dick, honestly.

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Re: Online Article Namechecking Subsekt..

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I'm not an expert on Ancient Greek mythology.. BUT isn't 'Hades' their name for Hell?

EDIT: I'd love to play a Hades computer game. I wonder how many characters the high score board would be limited to? Haha
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Re: Online Article Namechecking Subsekt..

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Lost to the Void wrote:Yeah that's true. I had a pretty good upbringing, well balanced support and discipline. I think it's part of the reason I always managed to ride the edge and pull back rather than plunge over.
Sounds like you have a nice fam there Steve. Definitely it's what most of those who walk away have in common. Either through family or hooking up with someone special who succeeds making the straight & narrow seem worthwhile. It's the luck of the draw as to who spits us out & into what we get spat out into. Life is a lottery.
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Re: Online Article Namechecking Subsekt..

Post by UN!T B »

Hades is the god of the underworld which would be the realm of the dead. That doesn't imply that its hell or heaven. Just dead, in the ground. Underworld.
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Re: Online Article Namechecking Subsekt..

Post by UN!T B »

ICN wrote:I'm not an expert on Ancient Greek mythology.. BUT isn't 'Hades' their name for Hell?

EDIT: I'd love to play a Hades computer game. I wonder how many characters the high score board would be limited to? Haha
No limit. It just progressively fills the entire screen with characters until thats all you see. :lol: Gotta maintain realism.
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Re: Online Article Namechecking Subsekt..

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It doesn't exist either way, of course.. But my inner voice tells me that's an eternity in Hades ( snigger ) would be pure Hell.

Holes in the roof.. Cunty neighbours.. Fake Colombians.. Pregnant women.. pianos Etc.. *shudder* - Are you brave enough to close your eyes for a second & even consider what being in the realm of Hades could be like?

I'm fucking not.
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Re: Online Article Namechecking Subsekt..

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ICN wrote:
Lost to the Void wrote:Yeah that's true. I had a pretty good upbringing, well balanced support and discipline. I think it's part of the reason I always managed to ride the edge and pull back rather than plunge over.
Sounds like you have a nice fam there Steve. Definitely it's what most of those who walk away have in common. Either through family or hooking up with someone special who succeeds making the straight & narrow seem worthwhile. It's the luck of the draw as to who spits us out & into what we get spat out into. Life is a lottery.
Yeah the other thing that kept and keeps my feet on the ground is me missus.
Having a good woman behind you can give you a particular form of strength.
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Re: Online Article Namechecking Subsekt..

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UN!T B wrote:
Who said you were naive? I didn't say you were naive.... I am aware that you understand the function of the R button in Operator.

I am constantly amazed at how you manage to extrapolate 4-6 paragraphs of material from a single sentence that I may post.
I can probably extrapolate 500000 characters from even each half sentence. :oops:
Anyway, UN!T, like I said in my previous post : the reason I usually write long posts is that I do not like it when I'm being misunderstood, and the more vague you stay, or the less words you use, the faster you can get misunderstood.
And believe me I'm still being far too vague about this guy, but yeah, like I said, I originally didn't even want to talk about the guy at all. But any time someone is gonna mention something that is not correct to what has happened (seriously or jokingly), I will defend my previous choice of taking the guy in and trying to help him out. But usually that means giving out even more details which I don't want to do in a public place.

I think it's safe to say the general consensus of all the folks having a big laugh is how naive I must have been to even try such a thing.

I didn't mean anything at you directly UN!T.
all I meant was : I can totally understand anyone thinking I'm a naive fucker.
But I still see it as a rather calculated risk I was taking, so to say, which turned out very wrong because of his personality.
But the circumstances were just this and nothing else : I knew the guy for over 10 years through the net,
I thought I knew him pretty well after that time,
I saw him slowly decline into a druggie, he went into rehab, after he got out I offered him a major change of scenery.
He paid for his own flight (thank god) from his huge bonus. Food and lodging were free, and I even paid for a few of his trips as well, even though he had received like a 7000$ bonus when he got fired.
Only rules I ever made him follow were : no drugs during your stay, and you're gonna do sports to get back into shape.
Hell, I even paid for his gym pass.

All that worked out : he stayed clean and gained approx 15 kilo's during his stay.
I never saw any issues with his previous drug abuse, except that he drank a massive amount of beer to replace his drugs.
And to give one thing in his advantage : after my roof, I had to redo the whole 2nd floor (2 rooms + small bathroom and little hallway) : I took off all the wallpaper and hung up new one and painted it.
He helped a little with that.
Only maybe 1 day a week for a few weeks, an with lots of sighing anc domplaining and beer drinking, but yeah, at least it was something.
That's about the only positive thing I can mention that he ever did.

The main problem was the guy was a total ego-centric selfish lazy cunt, which is not how I thought he would have been in real life.
So the biggest problem during these 2 months was not his addiction, but his character.
Obviously, the circumstances were far from ideal for me, to put it mildly, but yeah.

I'll give you some minor examples : he'd eat up half your fridge, then leave everything on the table without putting it back in the fridge, when it was like 30 degrees outside.
When you'd kindly ask him "dude, please put the food back in the fridge, otherwise it will just start to rot" he would make a huge scene, start screaming at us, and then tell us how he's not welcome and he'd say "I will go back to..."
which of course he never did, unfortunately for us. :?

Or he'd sit on FB all day long, instead of actually going outside and exploring the country he was in.
He had enough cash to do so, but he just never took the chance.
Then one of my friends caught the guy stealing her pics, putting them on his FB page, and making up stories about where he had gone to, and who he had met,... All complete bullshit stories.

That's some pretty stupid and yet kind of scary stuff.

I'm ok if people don't get along with me or vice versa. That will always happen with anyone. Hell, I don't even trust people that get along with everyone. They're just fakes usually.
But all of the people I introduced the guy to all started complaining to me about the same shit we got so fed up with every day, so yeah, it's not just a case of what me or my mrs thought.
What we noticed was what pretty much everyone seemed to notice, except we noticed it every day for 2 months.

I have a big house, it's pretty easy to stay out of each others way if you really want to,
but even that seemed impossible for him to do.
If someone would do 10 things for him, and he would do 1 thing for you, he would barely even notice the 10 things, and mention that 1 thing over and over again, and say how great that really was, and bablablabla. He was just a massive taker, and a sucker for attention, ...

How do you say that : you offer someone a hand, and they take both arms, your legs and then still blame you for not giving them even more.

I'm glad this conversation turned around into a more general discussion about addiction,
and thx Mono and Steve for pretty much understanding that I only tried to help someone out.
Of course those people can only help themselves, but sometimes they are helped a lot by a little push in the right direction. By someone giving them support.

Like you said Steve : you still feel bad you finally turned your back on yoru friend, even though you knew you had to.

I was only hoping to give that guy a little help to get his life back on track.
The plan backfired, but at least I tried and gave it all I had.
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Re: Online Article Namechecking Subsekt..

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@voidloss : i do the same for myself. i'm not trying to be funny or anything but i'm very intimate with myself. i know myself, my limits and capabilities very well. i'm one of these people that can live on a desert island or experience some other form of severe isolation and actually enjoy the solice. i do get a little sick of hearing my voice sometimes. anyway, i wonder, what would you guys would do if you caught your long time partner in bed with someone else? fuck i'd flip. i had an old family friend whose wife left him for another guy and when they had their first kid he hand built their crib. what a guy. i don't think i'd do the same.

edit : there are people who have this whole art of self-love down way more than me. look at all the mega-wealthy philanthropists. they don't give a fuck about their "good deeds". all they care about is how people interpret them. i've got no problem with this. it's just slightly classical; that's all.

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UN!T B wrote:Hades is the god of the underworld which would be the realm of the dead. That doesn't imply that its hell or heaven. Just dead, in the ground. Underworld.
exactly.
Underworld.

Reason I chose the name many years ago was the Persephone myth.
Hades stole Persephone, daughter of Demeter.
Demeter is the godess of agriculture, harvest,...
Since her daughter got stolen she got so depressed she made all the harvests go bad, so Zeus forced his brother to give up Persephone and bring her back to the normal world of the living. He didn't want to give her up permanently, so they agreed she would come back to him 6 months a year, and remain above ground the other 6 months of the year.
Which is how the seasons came into existence according to Greek mythology :
Every time Persephone comes back above ground, spring season starts and eventually summer comes.
Every time she leaves back to the underground, fall starts and eventually winter comes.

I always liked that story.
I've read a lot about Greek mythology over the years, long after I finished my studies in Latin and Greek, and I was always trying to tell myself "ah I must remember this or that", but it's quite impossible, there are sooo many Greek myths, and all the different names and who's who is almost impossible to remember.
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nocernoc wrote:anyway, i wonder, what would you guys would do if you caught your long time partner in bed with someone else? fuck i'd flip. i had an old family friend whose wife left him for another guy and when they had their first kid he hand built their crib. what a guy. i don't think i'd do the same.
to hand build a crib for your kid ? why not ?
oh wait, you mean the kid she had with her new lover ?
Nah, that's some big heart your friend has ! :shock:

hard to say what I'd do in the case of your friend though. There's nothing really to do except wonder about the why, no ?
I mean, even if she's the one that left him, why did she leave him ?
There's not much else you can do about it anyway, is there ? Not if it's clear she's really gone and it's not a temporary crisis.

My best friend left his GF for another woman 3 years ago, came back 6 months later, then left again for about a year.
Finally went back to her when he found out the other woman was constantly cheating on him.
But even though he always took the blame on him completely, left her the house, his car, all the furniture, kept paying for everything,... she never once thought about what she might have done wrong that he left in the first place.

She even literally told me 2 weeks ago : "there was never a problem between us, ever, he just left because of..."
damn man, if their relationship would have been all swell, he'd have never left.
That's like 500% denial... :shock:
Some day the old problems are just gonna come back.
And now their kid is seriously ill...

even with my crazy Costa Rican, I have wondered a lot about what I had done wrong, untill he pushed me so far (his last email just mae me lose it completely) and so many others confirmed my opinion of him.
But even there, there's always something from both parties. With every argument.
nocernoc wrote:
edit : there are people who have this whole art of self-love down way more than me. look at all the mega-wealthy philanthropists. they don't give a fuck about their "good deeds". all they care about is how people interpret them. i've got no problem with this. it's just slightly classical; that's all.
I'm sorry. Care to give a bit more detailed explanation of what you mean ?
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Someone making a fucking crib lol .. Total derailment :mrgreen:
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Re: Online Article Namechecking Subsekt..

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Hades wrote: The plan backfired, but at least I tried and gave it all I had.
The plan didn't backfire...It just turned out that he didn't appreciate the opportunity to check out a different country or Europe while he had the chance. Maybe he wasn't the person you expected him to be.

Everybody makes their own choices at the end of the day.
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Re: Online Article Namechecking Subsekt..

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Hades wrote:
nocernoc wrote:anyway, i wonder, what would you guys would do if you caught your long time partner in bed with someone else? fuck i'd flip. i had an old family friend whose wife left him for another guy and when they had their first kid he hand built their crib. what a guy. i don't think i'd do the same.
to hand build a crib for your kid ? why not ?
oh wait, you mean the kid she had with her new lover ?
Nah, that's some big heart your friend has ! :shock:

hard to say what I'd do in the case of your friend though. There's nothing really to do except wonder about the why, no ?
I mean, even if she's the one that left him, why did she leave him ?
There's not much else you can do about it anyway, is there ? Not if it's clear she's really gone and it's not a temporary crisis.


i don't know. all i do know is that she was nuts. i mean she always looked on edge. but he was a really gentle, soft chap. i think she was just after more money in all honesty.

Hades wrote:
My best friend left his GF for another woman 3 years ago, came back 6 months later, then left again for about a year.
Finally went back to her when he found out the other woman was constantly cheating on him.
But even though he always took the blame on him completely, left her the house, his car, all the furniture, kept paying for everything,... she never once thought about what she might have done wrong that he left in the first place.

She even literally told me 2 weeks ago : "there was never a problem between us, ever, he just left because of..."
damn man, if their relationship would have been all swell, he'd have never left.
That's like 500% denial... :shock:
Some day the old problems are just gonna come back.
And now their kid is seriously ill...

even with my crazy Costa Rican, I have wondered a lot about what I had done wrong, untill he pushed me so far (his last email just mae me lose it completely) and so many others confirmed my opinion of him.
But even there, there's always something from both parties. With every argument.
nocernoc wrote:
edit : there are people who have this whole art of self-love down way more than me. look at all the mega-wealthy philanthropists. they don't give a fuck about their "good deeds". all they care about is how people interpret them. i've got no problem with this. it's just slightly classical; that's all.
I'm sorry. Care to give a bit more detailed explanation of what you mean ?
well i sound really selfish saying that i'm sooo involved with myself but there are people out there who go to much greater lengths to make sure that their ego is not only tended to by themselves but as many other people as possible. how do they do it? public relations. it's the oldest game in the book and the oldest way to play it is by appearing conformant to some standard. could be the good guy manual, the bible, whatever. left hand / right hand politics. shows everone the good deads he's doing with the left, while he's doing something sneaky with the right. machiavelli. classical.

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nocernoc wrote: i wonder, what would you guys would do if you caught your long time partner in bed with someone else? fuck i'd flip. i had an old family friend whose wife left him for another guy and when they had their first kid he hand built their crib. what a guy. i don't think i'd do the same.
I've thought about this a bit, and I would in all probability end up in prison for whatever I do.
It takes a hell of lot for me to snap, but when I do I tend to go for a scorched earth policy.
I think this is one of those scenarios that would snap me.
My missus provides me with my main source of light in this world, she`s my beacon of hope, joy and love.
Fuck with that and I`ll probably still be working over your body by the time the police and ambulance arrive.
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Re: Online Article Namechecking Subsekt..

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UN!T B wrote:
Hades wrote: The plan backfired, but at least I tried and gave it all I had.
The plan didn't backfire...It just turned out that he didn't appreciate the opportunity to check out a different country or Europe while he had the chance. Maybe he wasn't the person you expected him to be.

Everybody makes their own choices at the end of the day.
yes it did, the plan was to help him get his life back on track, and apparantly he saw the whole thing as a paid vacation on my expense, and got back into the old life as soon as he got back.
so yeah.

You know what it is ? The guy from the gym (totally not your typical fitness-dickhead, which I love about him) told me these wise words, and I'll never forget this for as long as I live because they are so true :
"Some people just don't want a way out of their problems. It doesn't matter what they would get offered, they'd rather just stay in their current situation and keep on complaining. That's just how they are."
That was spot on with this guy...
Think about how many other people you know that are like this.
Hell, you can probably walk into every bar on this planet and find at least 3 of these types of people sitting there, complaining about their miserable lives.

Ever read Richard Yates "Revolutionary Road" (wonderful book, a real uppercut that makes you think about your life and what we do with our little time on this planet), or did you ever see the pretty decent film ?
That's exactly the stuff the gym guy was talking about : the male character played by Leonardo Di Caprio is given the option to change something drastically about his life, and he just doesn't wanna take it, but lacks the guts to say it out loud.
And it doesn't end very well.
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Re: Online Article Namechecking Subsekt..

Post by UN!T B »

Hades wrote:
UN!T B wrote:
Hades wrote: The plan backfired, but at least I tried and gave it all I had.
The plan didn't backfire...It just turned out that he didn't appreciate the opportunity to check out a different country or Europe while he had the chance. Maybe he wasn't the person you expected him to be.

Everybody makes their own choices at the end of the day.
yes it did, the plan was to help him get his life back on track, and apparantly he saw the whole thing as a paid vacation on my expense, and got back into the old life as soon as he got back.
so yeah.
How could you possibly have known unless he told you? He may well have been planning it from the get go. Then again maybe not. The best of intentions can still go sideways. Maybe something set him off when he got home. Old habits die hard...

Its his life. Maybe it is on track. Maybe that's his role to play in life. I know a couple people who have played that part.
You know what it is ? The guy from the gym (totally not your typical fitness-dickhead, which I love about him) told me these wise words, and I'll never forget this for as long as I live because they are so true :
"Some people just don't want a way out of their problems. It doesn't matter what they would get offered, they'd rather just stay in their current situation and keep on complaining. That's just how they are."
That was spot on with this guy...
Think about how many other people you know that are like this.
Hell, you can probably walk into every bar on this planet and find at least 3 of these types of people sitting there, complaining about their miserable lives.
There is some truth in there. Its all problems or maybe decisions when you look at it really. I can turn a decision into a problem depending on my attitude and how I frame it.

Most people are where they are because of a series of decisions they made.
Ever read Richard Yates "Revolutionary Road" (wonderful book, a real uppercut that makes you think about your life and what we do with our little time on this planet), or did you ever see the pretty decent film ?
That's exactly the stuff the gym guy was talking about : the male character played by Leonardo Di Caprio is given the option to change something drastically about his life, and he just doesn't wanna take it, but lacks the guts to say it out loud.
And it doesn't end very well.
I don't know this.
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Re: Online Article Namechecking Subsekt..

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Lost to the Void wrote:
nocernoc wrote: i wonder, what would you guys would do if you caught your long time partner in bed with someone else? fuck i'd flip. i had an old family friend whose wife left him for another guy and when they had their first kid he hand built their crib. what a guy. i don't think i'd do the same.
I've thought about this a bit, and I would in all probability end up in prison for whatever I do.
It takes a hell of lot for me to snap, but when I do I tend to go for a scorched earth policy.
I think this is one of those scenarios that would snap me.
My missus provides me with my main source of light in this world, she`s my beacon of hope, joy and love.
Fuck with that and I`ll probably still be working over your body by the time the police and ambulance arrive.
:lol: fuck that's classic mate. i'm getting an image of life through your eyes as a fucking hard core death metal track. anyway, don't worry i've always been to chicken shit to steel my mates girls even though i've had plenty of opportunity. 1) the idea of having something similar done to me is an immediate inhibitor and 2) yeah, guns and roses, a recipe for disaster.

you can now imagine, though, how hard it is to be single all the time. but it's even harder being in complete isolation. no one to support you or stick up for you. loners are destined to be tight arsed dick heads because if they take peoples shit without retaliation they end up depressed and in the extreme without will to live. one of the reasons i can't handle working in corporate environments anymore. i can't stand the feeling of turning into some servile obsequious little pussy cunt. i enjoy being able to call the shots in my life and i don't take shit. i do pay for it with poverty but it's a physical inability of mine to submit to the whip. i do wish i could sometimes; things would be much simpler but that's not the way i'm wired. i think it's got a lot to do with hormones; it is really intense.

edit : ^^that sounds totally gay now. i do think i've got the mind of a gay man sometimes. i think it's from all the bossy women i had in my life; fucking snipped me way early on.


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