Can't produce on Prozac

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Pelecaras
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Re: Can't produce on Prozac

Post by Pelecaras »

Lost to the Void wrote:Yeah, we saw the worst of ketamine long before it hit clubland.
But the environment was different.
London illegal raves were places of utter freedom and you will never experience hedonism like it. So people doing 1\4 gram lines of K in one go was common, as common as people taking acid from droppers or dropping bombs of pure crystal mdma.
I have never seen such debauchery, but with that, at least in the beginning, there was self responsibility. Each group would generally have their sensible person\s who didn't go in to outer space, and people looked out for each other.
When that K head walked out of a window, this was already post my quitting of the collective, when the whole scene was well on its path to collapsing inwards in its post millennial mallaise (the millennium was a very strange turning point, a psychic collapse, like some post orgasmic apathy) and I was at here at a friend who ran another soundsystems multi rigger party.
That's not the most disturbing tale I have from that period either.
There was a gang who were giving girls unlimited K and then grabbing the girls off to dark rooms and raping them, and the girls weren't even aware of what was happening.
It was rumour at first.
Eventually we caught the fuckers.
What happened after that is something I can never fully disclose. But I still get disturbed by who I was and what I was capable of back then.
Thankfully as more of this type of shit happened I drifted away as the collective ceased to function cohesively and my life at the time was pretty fucking hectic, as I was also working as a bouncer and doing wheel clamping and personal security, and associating with criminals and shit... It all ended in a nervous breakdown for me, and an almost suicide.
Life was very dangerous back then. 2002 was not a good time.
There's an interesting book somewhere in all that mate.
On the subject of breakdowns, I had one in 2000, 2003 and 2006 (spent 2009 convinced another was coming in a 3 year cycle)
I see them all as kind of reawakenings, each one has humbled the fuck outta me. They were horrible to go through but each time taught me important lessons.
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Lost to the Void
subsekt
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Re: Can't produce on Prozac

Post by Lost to the Void »

Yeah, it's literally like your brain just says "balls to this" and hits reboot.
I just met a mate last Monday who had a nervous breakdown this year, different circumstances, and never nice to hear anyone talk about it. When your mental and emotional capacity gets pushed to breaking point...Anything can happen.
Some people never fully recover, obviously some just decide it's all too much...

I've had one serious mental breakdown, in the year of horror I mentioned, and I never want to get to that place. I'm pretty sure it won't happen again, my life is far more calm and safe in terms of stress and danger... Of course you never know. I have a very long fuse in terms of my temper, and luckily have the capacity to remain extremely calm in very stressful dangerous situations but with that comes the danger that the rubber band gets stretched further, so when it does snap it really snaps.

It's important not to bottle up your emotions.


That's where music comes in.......


Look after yourselves people, for fucks sake. Don't just medicate, talk it through, group therapy, solo, counselling, hell join AA or a drug group or just talk to someone who cares and loves you.
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arkos
Re: Can't produce on Prozac

Post by arkos »

What a great thread this is and truly amazing how many of us here have similar situations.

I've been on prozac for 7 months now and haven't really noticed anything execpt when I smoke a joint, feels a little like taking mdma I can feel the tingly feeling of seratones flowing in my head, very nice :D

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Hades
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Re: Can't produce on Prozac

Post by Hades »

I've just been skipping my meds for most of last week,
and yeah, sure enough, I had a lot more energy and was actually motivated to do something,
but I just feel depression coming massively back.
It's a total bitch, tbh. Like a Catch 22 or something.
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Lost to the Void
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Re: Can't produce on Prozac

Post by Lost to the Void »

arkos wrote:What a great thread this is and truly amazing how many of us here have similar situations.
Well, lots of creatives and artists here, so more prone to this type of stuff.
That and the fact that depression and stress/anxiety numbers are rocketing up in this strange age we live in.

No.1 killer of 17-25 year old men, suicide due to depression, in this country.
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Hades
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Re: Can't produce on Prozac

Post by Hades »

Lost to the Void wrote:
No.1 killer of 17-25 year old men, suicide due to depression, in this country.
well, my country is no doubt seriously fucked up,
but if I'd have to live in the UK, or obviously even far worse, the US,
I doubt I'd survive very long...
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collide
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Re: Can't produce on Prozac

Post by collide »

arkos wrote:What a great thread this is and truly amazing how many of us here have similar situations.
I was kinda surprised how many on here are affected.

chava
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Re: Can't produce on Prozac

Post by chava »

Good thread, a couple of thoughts / advice:

Never do antidepressants without accompanying therapy or at least supervision. You need to follow if the meds really to work or not.

Do really try to get rid of the destructive idea that happiness is your goal. Some people really are happy most of the time, but you know, I really can't stay being around them most of the time. And that is not because of envy, that is because they are mostly hyper-extroverted and take up the whole space. Antidepressants are not supposed to make you happy, they are supposed to stabilize your emotional responses to a less pathological state.

To my estimation it is correct that entheogenic experiences can in fact help a lot. But I would say that you should thread carefully here, you're basically changing your personality thorough this.

Take a personality test. The result might not be of any surprise to you, but still can be illuminating. For instance, if you're an introvert an live in a noise, social environment (the city) you might want to change that or engage with nature on a steady basis.

Make a situational analysis of your life and assess your possiblities to change this. Maybe herein lies the primary problem.

I am very sceptical to any kind of self-help gurus, but the above is mainly derives from this professor in clinical psychology, who is just on another level. I am pretty sure he is the wisest guy on YouTube, although you really have to listen to a lot to really 'get' it. And it is not exactly uplifting material. Here's a couple of bits relevant to the thread:

Jordan Peterson's opinion on Antidepressants https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuQgJxYriYI

Jordan Peterson: Dealing with Suicide and Depression https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7E_4c_s9y8

Jordan Peterson - The Mystery of DMT and Psilocybin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gol5sPM073k

Jordan Peterson on why there aren't creative people https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_CtJ6bRWgM

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winston
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Re: Can't produce on Prozac

Post by winston »

chava wrote:Good thread, a couple of thoughts / advice:

Never do antidepressants without accompanying therapy or at least supervision. You need to follow if the meds really to work or not.

Do really try to get rid of the destructive idea that happiness is your goal. Some people really are happy most of the time, but you know, I really can't stay being around them most of the time. And that is not because of envy, that is because they are mostly hyper-extroverted and take up the whole space. Antidepressants are not supposed to make you happy, they are supposed to stabilize your emotional responses to a less pathological state.

To my estimation it is correct that entheogenic experiences can in fact help a lot. But I would say that you should thread carefully here, you're basically changing your personality thorough this.

Take a personality test. The result might not be of any surprise to you, but still can be illuminating. For instance, if you're an introvert an live in a noise, social environment (the city) you might want to change that or engage with nature on a steady basis.

Make a situational analysis of your life and assess your possiblities to change this. Maybe herein lies the primary problem.

I am very sceptical to any kind of self-help gurus, but the above is mainly derives from this professor in clinical psychology, who is just on another level. I am pretty sure he is the wisest guy on YouTube, although you really have to listen to a lot to really 'get' it. And it is not exactly uplifting material. Here's a couple of bits relevant to the thread:

Jordan Peterson's opinion on Antidepressants https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuQgJxYriYI

Jordan Peterson: Dealing with Suicide and Depression https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7E_4c_s9y8

Jordan Peterson - The Mystery of DMT and Psilocybin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gol5sPM073k

Jordan Peterson on why there aren't creative people https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_CtJ6bRWgM
i came across this guy at the end of last year and his stuff is pretty illuminating. i wouldn't say it is self-help (not that you are), but it is more like explaining things clearly that makes the world make more sense.

Pelecaras
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Re: Can't produce on Prozac

Post by Pelecaras »

chava wrote:
Do really try to get rid of the destructive idea that happiness is your goal.

Make a situational analysis of your life and assess your possiblities to change this. Maybe herein lies the primary problem.
While I agree that happiness shouldn't be the goal, I also counter that with "why shouldn't I be happy?"

Also my life situation (work, money, relationships) have no bearing on my mental health, when those three have been good in the past, I've had some of my worst episodes of depression, so there's no correlation between the two in my case.

My main point in the OP was to ask (as someone who has only been on Prozac for weeks after using imipramine for 20 years) was to see if any well else feels the fog of apathy that comes with it.

I appreciate you pointing towards the self help videos.

Regards
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Pelecaras
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Re: Can't produce on Prozac

Post by Pelecaras »

Hades wrote:I've just been skipping my meds for most of last week,
and yeah, sure enough, I had a lot more energy and was actually motivated to do something,
but I just feel depression coming massively back.
It's a total bitch, tbh. Like a Catch 22 or something.
You're right about catch 22, it's such a fucking horrible condition. Be kind to yourself Hades dude.
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intrusav
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Re: Can't produce on Prozac

Post by intrusav »

I find being content is a good thing to aim for.
Having a place that you feel comfortable in, having people that you can be yerself with, sleeping right, eating right, giving yerself a chance to clear your head in the evening. Being productive, following your interests, enjoying the time you have to yourself. It all adds up.
The bit I struggle with is getting that time to myself, and when I do, I don't seem to use it the way I'd like and then I beat myself up over it!! But I realise that I'm pretty fortunate too. First world problems ..

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kostas
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Re: Can't produce on Prozac

Post by kostas »

chava wrote:Good thread, a couple of thoughts / advice:

Never do antidepressants without accompanying therapy or at least supervision. You need to follow if the meds really to work or not.

Do really try to get rid of the destructive idea that happiness is your goal. [/url]
We have to understand that happiness is a procedure, not a situation. It' s something that you ''doing'' everyday. It' s not an achievement.
By default ppl can be very irritated, adding all kind of drugs to the equation is just makes you more irritated. I had the opportunity to be
under prescribed medications for reasons that I feel is irrelevant to the topic, but I chose not to take this path. Even when I saw the dysfunctional
pattern that was ruining my life, I just felt very grateful for just being able to acknowledge the thing and really try and make the effort of going
deep down to the cause of it. Unfortunately in western societies prescribed medications is a real epidemic. Make a simple search on this and you ll
understand what I m talking about. It s the hedonistic approach to life. Taking a pill will take you out of the Matrix. But reality will never change for you.
You have to change for reality. One must be humble enough to let reality work on him. And this is an emotional difficult thing.
But the real power is in letting reality work on you.
Some might say, but you know my neurology or my circumstances are just this way ...
And yes they are right. But taking it further, it is never one thing but a combination of factors.
We are the product of our physiology plus our sociology equals our psychology.
Being aware of that, is a good starting point to overcome whatever is the thing that stands between us and real peace of mind.
It s called self actualization.
and again this is an emotional difficult thing.
collide wrote:
arkos wrote:What a great thread this is and truly amazing how many of us here have similar situations.
I was kinda surprised how many on here are affected.
ask a random psychologist/therapist and you ll be surprised when they ll tell you that the world is a really fucked up place that happens not to be visible when it comes to everyday activities. assuming that everybody is what they seem to be is a big lie.
''We all have the equal amount of now. Got it? ... now go and make some good techno.''

TechnoDude
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Re: Can't produce on Prozac

Post by TechnoDude »

From my understanding both meds and therapy go hand in hand. Other things already mentioned is exercise and meditation. Hence, yoga, tai chi, qi qong etc ...

In regards to not being to write something .... what I found useful was to dedicate sometime a day to do this. Maybe just 5 mins a day to start with. You don't have to finish tracks, just start with the bass drum and see how it goes, some times it maybe just doing some sound design or creating some effects etc ... Soon the 5 mins will turn into 10 mins and you won't even notice. And don't worry about the results. The important bit is that you are doing something rather than watching tv to distract your mind.

chava
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Re: Can't produce on Prozac

Post by chava »

winston wrote:
i came across this guy at the end of last year and his stuff is pretty illuminating. i wouldn't say it is self-help (not that you are), but it is more like explaining things clearly that makes the world make more sense.
I ma very impressed that he really seems knowledgeable about very different approaches in psychology. Most psychologists seems to be very uni-dimensional and use one method (at the moment I would guess Cognitive Behavioural therapy) until that run of out style. This guy seems to well versed in everything including neuropsychology, existentialism, phenomenology and Jungian dream analysis. And are able both able to combine them and explain this in layman's term which is no mean feat.

Interestingly he claims that creative people often gains most from Jungian analysis, which perhaps could be of some use here.

arkos
Re: Can't produce on Prozac

Post by arkos »

Lost to the Void wrote:
No.1 killer of 17-25 year old men, suicide due to depression, in this country.
That is happening here as well :shock:
collide wrote: I was kinda surprised how many on here are affected.
Yeah same here, knew there would be some but had no idea how many here are actually dealing with something.

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Re: Can't produce on Prozac

Post by Lost to the Void »

The Broken Home of Subsekt

It makes me love all of you just that little bit more... <3
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