Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.
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Author:  Alume [ Wed Jun 14, 2017 2:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

Small disclaimer, I'm typing this on my phone, drinking coffee while tropical rains are pouring like there is no tomorrow. So hopefully you can turn a blind eye if this post isn't all that coherent.

Generally speaking, we are all following the same path here on subsekt. One day, we got enchanted by a certain medium. That for some reason drew our interest more than other forms of art. For most of us it would be similar to how I got in touch with electronic music; A friend invited you to your first techno/house party, already not 100% sure what to expect you decide to drop some E and find yourself getting thrown into this sub world that swings you through the furthest corners off your mind until you notice a certain beat emerging through your trains of thought. You might not realize it at first but its safe to say that you will see the world in different daylight after this very night.

Though indeed this is one of the more romantic ways of getting in touch with the culture, it doesn't so much matter how we got here. Let's consider we are lucky we did. We all ended up deciding, that for some reason, we had to make the music that was cannoned out of those speakers. This is the part I'd like to talk about, what happened since you started making music(or any art) and what have you learnt as an artist about making art?

The reason for this post came from a book I am reading. It's called "Art&Fear" and it's basically what the authors call an artist's survival guide. It confronts questions like what your art is about, where it is going and what could stand in the way of getting there. It's only recently that I've accepted music making as a big part of my life, and as something that I will prioritize over other things while I'm still young. I used to call it a glorified hobby, though I realized that by doing that I wasn't honest about the way I truly feel about it. Which resulted in skewed projects and distorted aspirations.

So without further personal mumbling(for now), maybe it's helpful to stand still for a while and answer these three questions about your artmaking:
1. What is your art really about?
2. Where is it going?
3. What stands in your way to get there?

I realize these questions are quite personal and close to home, but fuck that. If you cant get personal and confront your art, does it serve any purpose at all?


So as OP, I'd have to start I guess.

What is your art really about?
Unconsciously, I've thought about this quite a lot though it would mostly refer to a certain piece or direction. On a larger scale, I'd have to say it varies from time to time. Not saying that is a bad or a good thing, it just is at the moment. At an infant stage, it wasn't about anything in particular I guess. I have always been drawing and creating but I somehow lost my way in drawing when i became a teen. A certain pressure emerged that suppressed the juices to flow. Music gave a fresh start, it gave me new language in which i could express whatever needed to be expressed. After about 1,5 years of music making, it got more serious and as ignorant as i was(am) it became about releasing and getting my music out there, being seen. With this mindset I managed to squeeze out my first EP, which brutally marked the ending of my infant stage, which i would realize after a long drought. At the time I did not realize what had happened, but out of nowhere, strings became attached a lot of them too.

It took me a good year to realize what squished the life out of my work, it was the intent of releasing and getting my records played that had me looking for my keys under the streetlight while I lost them in from of my door. I had no clue what is was about i guess.

Back to the question though, what is it about, or what do i think it is about? Recently, my music is about creating a sense of place and time that constantly seduce each other, dancing around the fire of your conscious mind, rehearsing a playful act of structural mental confinement versus letting go and acceptance towards each and all. It carefully, sketches a sense of places that you're going to or could have been, while blending in the question that you might have been there before. Either way it is the carrier that takes you to these new and familiar places, in alien or nostalgic times.

These places are usually inspired on the faces of nature, forests, deserts, oceans and fields. While the element of time usually leans towards our early days as an excelling breed of species, or our future framework of living in post-post apocalyptic tribes.

2. Where is it going?
Recently, I getting back to the mental place i want to be regarding making music. It's strange as I dont know what that place exactly is and obviously that's its in constant shift. Up to my first release I've been making music unconsciously, in fact i've been doing so with an unconscious mind all together. My problems in music making started unfolding after a slowly building transformation that was suddenly unlocked after my first acid trip. Though that is a whole other story, it is only now after almost 4 years that my output is gaining some solid ground again.

So where is it going? I think the future is bright, now, more than ever I'm committed to making music and chisel out the places and times that I've yet to discover. For music, my goal would be to further explore these environments and I would like to develop my language further for people to understand and transcend with me to these exotic realms of a foreign mind.

3. What stands in you way to get there
Mostly myself, obviously. Each day I live a more conscious life, in recent years I've stopped eating all animal related products except eggs. I've come to senses to some extent, though the self awareness about my self and my surrounding have yet to find a place in making music. In music and art, I feel like what stands in my way is being self conscious about it. I need to accept the music more for what it is, and what it want to be. I have to learn how to let it flow more naturally and most of all judge if its good enough it after its process rather than with every little twist of the knob.

Anyhow, that's how i think about it now. Will surely be different in some time to come.


Also if other subjects or questions come to mind, feel free to drop them here. I think its good to take a critical look at what we are doing, as it such a complex thing to grasp.

Author:  rktic [ Wed Jun 14, 2017 3:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

Before I think about my answers, imho the most interesting and personal one is yet missing:

What drives you to make music, which itch are you scratching with producing music?

Yes, the first one already crosses those lines but more on the object surface of the music itself, not really the big why question. I don't think it's just the experience of going to a club and waving hands in the air that makes people want to write music. Maybe it's the catalyst, but probably not the reason.

While trying to answer these questions btw, I feel like I'm missing some of the context the book delivers that makes you answer them. 2 and 3 I can't really connect with.

Author:  collide [ Wed Jun 14, 2017 3:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

1. Escapism.
2. Escapism.
3. Life.

Author:  Lost to the Void [ Wed Jun 14, 2017 4:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

Ooh, now this is interesting.

I`m going to add ronnies question in there too as I think it is a very important one....

1. What drives you to make music, which itch are you scratching with producing music?

Great question this one. My musical journey has been a long one. I`ve always been an outsider, a literal rebel without a cause sometimes, going back to school. So when I was coming of age I lived in the heart of the rave empire that was essex (all the good hardcore producers came from essex mostly), so early rave was very much a mainstream thing for me, everyone was in to it, and I didn`t like hanging with the normal kids, your typical essex people did live up to their cliche.
So when I started my first band with my best friend it was to make something of our own. Our own music for ourselves and for our people, the outsiders (who at the time, in my town, were the goths and the industrialists, and to some extent, the metalheads), so initially it was rebellion. Youthful rebellion. Eventually it became more than that, the act of expression was such a catharsis to being in the world, along with that, the brotherhood of being in a band, of being out there, running into the madness and the frey, but doing it together, taking on whoever and whatever. That drove me. But expression and catharsis remained the most important thing, that and the desire to explore and try different things, ask questions, make people ask questions.
Once I fell in to illegal raves, it was post criminal justice act, so raves were "dead" officially, and it had become a true underground thing. The attraction there was the whole underground society, and again, the sense of family, the defiance and rebellion, the total freedom of expression that came with counter culture and fringe society. The music reflected this. At this point my drive to make music had changed quite a bit.
I was making music for my "tribe". It was... I can`t think of a better term than this, and I find it really icky... but.. Shamanic. It felt tribal, we were coming together in the dance and the music was a sort of medicinal thing. It was the heart of our subculture. The soundsystems were different tribes and we came together and shared our music and the tribes mixed. It was very primal. So my desire was completely in service to this. There was also the political edge, and the rebellion, but it was much more of a holistic thing. Hard to fully explain, but it was like...... Like cooking for the family.
So once the Ketamine wave decimated the London illegal rave scene, I was free floating still with this attitude, and got "discovered" by a distributer in proper techno land, and releases happened as I got a P&D deal, my motivations remained the same, but they were somewhat thrashed by my slow discovery that the mainstream techno world had the thin veil of what I had experience in the rave scene, but underneath it was mercenary, selfish, money driven, "scenester"..... Not really as tribal and family like as it presented itself (definitely less so now by far), so my music became more about exploring again, discovering, questioning, finding out where the edges were and pushing against them.
As time has gone on my motivations have become increasingly emotional, just expressing my emotional extremes, pushing against orthodoxy withing the music, exploring boundaries, experimenting with research from hypnotics, NLP, psychoacoustics, the root drives of tribal music. I`ve certainly become more political over the last few years... My drive is always to try to show people alternatives to any orthodoxy, to encourage free thinking, thinking outside of the box, creatively, as well as politically, philosophically, spiritually. Dance. the Dance is a deep seated thing in the human psyche, but it has more importance than just pure escapism (which everything gets reduced to in these hyper capitalist days), humans have been coming together and dancing together for as long as we have been in tribal societies, the authorities have never liked the power that it has, that is why raves were made illegal everywhere so quickly before they were sanitised and controlled. The way it can bring people together and transcend language. The way it can break down walls and cause communication and THINKING. And so dance music has been repackaged as just pure debauchery (and now, pure commercial enterprise), a safer way to allow it to happen...... I always try to show it can be more than just that in my music.
So I guess my main drives are

Self Expression/Exploration
Sharing expression/contributing to the tribe and "the great dance"
Rebelling against all authority and orthodoxy

2. What is your art really about?

Depends. Different stuff is about different things.
My Doom Metal album was commenting about depression, addiction and ego destruction, my father allowing life to defeat him.
I have new releases coming out that are super political, confronting our politics and our stupidity and the cunts who have the will to power.
I`ve had conceptual releases under a pseudonym that were designed to appear to support the ideals of the power elites, to present things from their perspective, as a sort of reverse psychology kind of thing. Like a shock doctrine.
There is another release coming out that is asking questions about the purpose of dance music and debauchery that is employing some NLP techniques to hopefully fuck with peoples minds.
then I have stuff that is just pure catharsis, just high energy madness to blow out all your cobwebs
It`s about whatever I feel it needs to be about when I make it.

3. Where is it going?

I don`t know honestly. I have a number of new (I won`t call them side) projects going in different directions happening right now that are providing new avenues to explore.
I`ve signed to a label and have some collabs coming up that see me moving right to the very fringes of techno/art/industrial/experimental, which I see as probably a natural progression for me, as I seek more meaning in things. Currently I`m looking for some way of fusing a lot of interests in to one cohesive project, but I think it will probably need to take the form of a (albeit unconventional) band of some kind.
I do really want to get more time to focus on my visual arts too, which I have let slip terribly.

4. What stands in your way to get there?

the biggest obstacle is always myself.
everything I do is always not good enough
terrible production
bad ideas
worthless waste of time
inconsequential drivel etc
After that, I`m not sure what obstacles there are.
Probably none.

But you can never escape yourself right?
This bone prison is for life.

Author:  PatrickHughes [ Wed Jun 14, 2017 4:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

1: While I do love to romanticize the creative process of producing music, and often find myself engaging in deep meta analysis of the deeper meanings of music, at the end of the day what it comes down to is I just want to make music that I really enjoy and other people like as well.

2: My goals from short term to long term are; to research and learn new ways to improve my music, continue writing as many songs as I can to develop my skills and ability, get my first track released by a label, continue to build a following of people who enjoy my music, start booking gigs to play live, release track on major label, book major gigs/start touring, become international superstar Producer/DJ, retire in a mansion next door to Carl Cox...

3: I would have to say time is the biggest factor on reaching my goals. It will obviously take countless hours of my putting in time producing tracks to improve and develop while also putting in time reading forums and learning from others. Then even still more time to actually get other people to listen to my music and getting labels and industry types to get behind my work. In the end though I think if I put in the time on my end while staying patient and persistent I think I'll have no problem knocking off the goals on my list. At the end of the day the most important part to me is having fun on the journey, so if I don't make it all the way to getting that mansion it won't be the end of the world.

Author:  LV426 [ Wed Jun 14, 2017 4:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

Interesting. Without reading the book and knowing the context I'll try answer these from my perspective.

1. What is your art really about?
No idea, as I'm early in my musical ‘career’ – I like what I like and my aim is to produce that one day. For now I guess I could say I'm just enjoying the journey and trying not to be disheartened when I struggle. I don't try to express myself or my feelings (maybe that will relate in q3!) partly because I don't know how to do that yet, and partly because I'm not really an emotional person. I just want to make my mark, and if other people like what I have to say then that's cool.

By trade I'm a graphic designer so I hope I'm naturally a creative person. Taught myself guitar as a teen (which comes with it's own problems – how I wish I studied music in school when I had the opportunity).

2. Where is it going?
Hopefully in the right direction. When I listen back to stuff from even a few months ago I can hear a real improvement in my music (subsekt is certainly helping here!), though I do worry I'm getting a bit lost or over my head with what it is I'm trying to do. I have no producer friends or anybody to talk to about my musical ideas or problems save a guy I work with that used to run Sequence in Manchester… so, it's a bit hit and miss ha. My main goals are the more ‘beautiful’ side of techno – deep house, more emotive techno rather than the hard hitting reverb rumble stuff :P

3. What stands in your way to get there?
My musical knowledge mostly, certainly not determination or want and I'm very technically minded so DAW and doing stuff will never be my issue. I guess a bit of fear of what I'm doing is absolute shit and I shouldn't be trying.
I love music, I love working out how everything is fitting together in stuff I listen to and I'm finding I'm really enjoying making it — that's the end goal isn't it really? What's the point if you don't enjoy it?

Author:  Alume [ Wed Jun 14, 2017 4:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

rktic wrote:
Before I think about my answers, imho the most interesting and personal one is yet missing:

What drives you to make music, which itch are you scratching with producing music?

Yes, the first one already crosses those lines but more on the object surface of the music itself, not really the big why question. I don't think it's just the experience of going to a club and waving hands in the air that makes people want to write music. Maybe it's the catalyst, but probably not the reason.

While trying to answer these questions btw, I feel like I'm missing some of the context the book delivers that makes you answer them. 2 and 3 I can't really connect with.

Fair point i agree om the drive. Consider it added! Mods? Hehe

2 And 3 is more focussed on where you want the art to go. The book also adresses why you could possible not be making any art lately, or give up al together.

So in that respect 2 and 3 are quite basic but not less essential to understanding more about your artmaking, as well as why.

Author:  intrusav [ Wed Jun 14, 2017 7:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

I'm more interested in why we sometimes can't, the barriers and speed bumps both personal and "external", to getting to where we want to go.

I guess I should start with the above questions and work back from that.
Never really thought so critically or deeply about a goal or focus or whatever.
I guess that's what kickstarts some added motivation but the reason I do shit is just to understand the process. Couldn't really give a fuck about having a finished track, a release, a following. I see that as some kinda validation thing, looking for approval from peers or something.
Maybe my opinion of it being linked to that is why I have no interest...

Having said that, I realise and accept my own insecurities and discomfort with sharing stuff I come up with. I also admire good quality shit and seeing people push and progress in their own way. Just see it as them doing their thing and don't see myself in the same bracket or having that purpose ...

Author:  Opnå [ Wed Jun 14, 2017 8:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

1. What is your art really about?

I got into dance music via rave cassettes that were shared on the playground. Non of us had been to a rave, or really knew what it was but something about the music and the underground nature of it had me hooked. I guess I'd always liked electronic music though, I remember being in love the Donna Summer I feel love when I was a pre-teen haha.

As I got older I started DJing but always had the desire to make the records more than play them, I eventually discovered cubase / FL studio then I was off. At this point I was pretty focused on making the type of house music I played. The motivation was just to make tracks that sounded like the tracks I played. Simple enough, and I managed to do it reasonably well, had a couple tracks released.

However while I love a great club track but the "cookie cutter" nature of the scene, the fact that one originator can be swamped by copy cats almost instantly turns me off. I feel so many people in dance music just want to be a DJ so will happily cobble together sample packs and copy the hot sound to achieve that. I also struggle with the urge for revivalism which seems so prevalent these days. I'm striving to make something more then just rehashing New Jersey house, or Detroit techno etc.

This certainly leaves me thinking about the music I want to make possibly too much. And I've spent the last 10 years making all sorts of music and I'm not sure a strict dance floor house / techno format is really where my heart lies.

2. Where is it going?

Right now I'm not sure. I'm going to keep exploring and hope it clicks.

3. What stands in your way to get there?

Life, money, time, social pressure, age. Sometimes I feel like I should add talent to the list as well...

P.S. Found it genuinely interesting reading everyone else answers. Thanks guys. Glad to know that some of my feelings are shared by some others and we're not all blindly trying to bosh out the next Beatport top 10 banger.

Author:  suppressor [ Thu Jun 15, 2017 10:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

1. What is your art really about?
Alright, realistically music has been a dominant part of my everyday living, actions and general decision making. I find it strange how listening to a certain type of music can 'make' me decide on what type of mood i will have for the day. The input of music changes my emotional and physical output means that the same concept applies to when i create my own music. Everything that I make is the creative output of my emotional state at that point in time. But as producing electronic music can at times require some sort of precision, my art progresses into a way to substantiate to myself somewhat of a creative ability.

2. Where is it going?
As my production quality increases i am slowly gaining exposure to more people which is great. As i get older my aims in music production are starting to change, as are my tastes in the music. One day i would love to have my music enjoyed by just my close friends, a larger scale than i have now would be brilliant. To be signed to a major label would be a brilliant success also, but that is not really a priority, being singed to a label with deep roots and strong substance would be even better in my eyes.

3. What stands in your way to get there?
My life outside music is the most obvious answer.

Author:  rsntr [ Thu Jun 15, 2017 10:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

1. What is your art really about?
Music is a metaphor for life. Tension & release. Potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled.

2. Where is it going?
I try to have a non-judgemental mind when creating and be in the present moment. Free from comparison and purpose. Let the music go where it wants to go without forcing anything. I haven't quite succeeded creating like this but I know that's how it should be (for me).

3. What stands in your way to get there?
Fear of judgement - my own and that of others (but much less so). Fear that I run out of ideas and that I have nothing to say that's worth listening to.

Bonus question: What drives you to make music, which itch are you scratching with producing music?
The simple urge to create something. If I'd become deaf, I'd definitely write instead. In fact, I'd like to write now besides making music but time is limited.

Author:  SixOfOne [ Thu Jun 15, 2017 12:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

1. What is your art really about?
Having fun.

2. Where is it going?
I don't know, I don't think anyone really knows.

3. What stands in your way to get there?

Myself - you're always against yourself.

4. What drives you to make music, which itch are you scratching with producing music?
Everyone is creative, you just have to find your outlet. I'm extremely fortunate to be educated in music.

Author:  rmac [ Thu Jun 15, 2017 2:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

1. What is your art really about?
Trying to trigger people to forget their work, how they look, modern life etc etc, to enter the present moment and express themselves via their body movments in a pure un-stifled almost subconscious way. Basically the opposite of how we are in daily life.

2. Where is it going?
At the moment the goal is to get some releases played in some big clubs by some big djs - to make at least some mark on the scene. Once that has been achieved maybe the goals will get bigger.

3. What stands in your way to get there?
Having a social life and GF is not very compatible with locking yourself up in a room for hours and hours, so this slows progress. Also inspiration and drive comes in waves and I haven't found a way to control this perfectly, so tend do just ride the waves of inspiration and drive as and when they come. Inspiration "troughs" can be frustrating and cause you to waste the precious time you have.

4. What drives you to make music, which itch are you scratching with producing music?
Really don't know. A love of rhythmical music and a deep desire to be a creator/contributor to the scene rather than just a consumer of it.

Author:  reflektah [ Thu Jun 15, 2017 3:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

1. What is your art really about?
At some level I just want to make stuff that makes people go "niiice" - doesn't even have to be music. On a deeper level music, especially techno, has always been a driving force in my life, giving energy and strength when I've been in need. So I hope people will find my music inspiring.

2. Where is it going?
To bigger and weirder places, hopefully. Working on a live set with a friend (first performance coming tomorrow actually). and after that I'd like to do some hiphop beats. I've also been thinking of producing some more psy-leaning stuff.

3. What stands in your way to get there?
Lack of time, commitment and skill. But with commitment comes skill. The more I learn about technical stuff the more I can focus on more abstract ideas. While it can be daunting and frustrating at times, I can still say that I'm making progress.

4. What drives you to make music, which itch are you scratching with producing music?
I want to create something. I don't want to spend all my time just consuming what others have created.

Author:  SLHFR [ Tue Jun 20, 2017 1:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

1. What is your art really about?
I actually don't really know and also I wouldn't consider it "art" at this point, it's still a lot of trial and error.
I guess I'm trying to the recreate what I feel when listening to the stuff I really like at the moment. Sometimes the result is acceptable, but most of the time it really is not. I'm still looking for a certain routine, rather than just experimenting and getting results by accident.
Only then I think I can really get creative and produce music that truly is my own.

2. Where is it going?
Hopefully in the right direction, but atm I feel like I'm stagnating a bit.
But I think that's ok for the moment, I don't really want to sell my music or get famous or anything like that.
Right know it's all about the joy of creating something and getting better at it step by step, without the need to reach a certain goal anytime soon.

3. What stands in your way to get there?
The lack of knowledge about music theory. I don't really have a musical background, was never really interested as a kid.
Now I know I missed out on something, but it's a little late I guess. I'm trying to learn these things right now but don't really
have the time for it, especially because I also haven't figured out a lot of the technical aspects of producing electronic music (using EQ's and compression correctly, stuff like that). This is one of the reasons why I joined subsekt, allready found a lot of helpful stuff on here.

4. What drives you to make music, which itch are you scratching with producing music?
As I already said, I just really want to recreate the type of music I like. I think that's quite natural.
Back when I was younger and was listening to a lot of Rap I started to write a lot, now I'm sitting in front of a laptop and turning knobs.
There isn't a huge difference when you stop looking at the process itself, just another way of expressing myself.

Author:  rktic [ Tue Jun 20, 2017 4:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

1. What drives you to make music, which itch are you scratching with producing music?

Preamble: I could provide a short answer to this. The kind of answer I gave in my subsekt interview here 4 years ago. It wouldn’t cut the drive. Here’s the pants-off version instead. Hoping it helps somebody of you to go beyond the surface. Cause I personally found “I just want to create stuff” dissatisfying.

So, most important influence in obtaining the creative spark drumroll: my parents. Above all, my parents value respect and functioning. Both hands-on tradespeople. My dad, painting worker, one job in the same company for his entire working career. Mom was doing what was necessary. Both classic post-war generation folks. No concept of seeking fulfillment as far as I’m able to say. “You’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.” “What shall the neighbours think?”. You know the drill.

I started biting fingernails very early. Boy, did they hate it. I don’t remember not doing that until I was 31. Funnily it didn’t occur to me that this was kind of my middlefinger. But what do you do when your fucking nails are eaten away and there’s nothing else to do, cause you’re the only child in your age alone on a shitty rainy day trapped in a camper in fucking nowhere?

Twisting knobs on the radio. Tuning through bands. Imagining those voices I could hear on some frequencies were some kind of a hidden message, just for me. Aliens, Russians, faraway places, weird technology - I felt like a secret agent from a secret government catching up with news from the fucking universe and only I could understand them. This was my escape and mine only. From there it was just a matter of time to record my first tapes with music, apart from weird noises.

My parents? Didn’t get it at all. Eventually my rebellion was about doing exactly the opposite of what they were able to understand: doing stuff in my head, not with my hands. “The computer thing is just a phase, It’ll pass soon.” Yeah, thank you. Look at me, I’m getting sounds out of the damn thing. Screw you. Btw, this is me taking care about myself. Screw you. And spare me with your ton of truisms. You have no idea who I am and what I’m capable of. Screw. YOU.

Last not least Acid House popped up on the radio, raw and aggressive. It made me feel alive. In retrospect I think it gave me the impression there are people out there able to understand my state of mind. Techno? What a revelation.

If you already said something like “I had a nice childhood - my parents never beat me” - maybe you wanna look again? Maybe to learn something valuable. Maybe not. Last not least, I can’t blame my folks. They did the best they could. And it’s a little bit weird to say I’m happy with who I became. I can do things other can’t. But it came with a price.

2. What is your art really about?
Translating complex feelings I can’t come to terms with into a form of communication. Often enough just exploring sounds for the sake of fun and discovery.

3. Where is it going?
I already thought I needed to become a successful artist. That’s a thing of the past. It now is where I want it to be. I make music for myself. Sometimes for a Demoscene production. Sometimes I upload a track. Sometimes I even release something somewhere. But it’s optional. I’m happy with finishing a track to my liking and leave it on my HD. Cause it’s a story I’ve written to the end.

4. What stands in your way to get there?
Being afraid of what I find when I follow a path.

Author:  StacieAnne [ Tue Jun 20, 2017 8:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

Awesome topic Ronnie!

Ok, here goes.

1. What is your art really about?

Aside from the very early attempts I had at making music where I was learning the most rudimentary parts of Logic making music it is about survival for me.

Now, I don't mean in the sense of I have to make music or something will chase after me and try and hurt me. I mean, in the sense if I don't make music the noise in my head starts to get too much. I suppose in a way, it has become my meditation. It is something I can do to focus my mind, not clear it but actually put some of what I am feeling into it, in a way that is somewhat of an emotional release for me.

I don't know how many of you ever really stop and listen to a track and wonder what went into it from an emotional perspective, I do all the time. I look at the name and I listen to the sounds and I try and work out where that person was mentally. Partly, that is the reason I posted a while ago that I just didn't think I was designed to make a banger is that I didn't think I would be able to convey enough emotion from it (I do now know that is bullshit, thanks guys, that is all down to you <3 )

Making music for me is about being able to get through the very very worst times when I am mentally fucked. It is the best distraction I could ever wish for. It is the only thing I seem to be able to keep my mind on all of the time when I am doing it. I am normally so easily distracted in normal life. It is also the only thing I have seriously ever stuck at, I never get bored of it,I never lose interest.
It has truly got me though the worst time of my life.

There was a time when I first started making music where all I wanted to do was get something released, which did happen within the first 9 months of me making music, I somehow fluked a vinyl only release but now, that isn't even important to me. I just want to make music. I don't care if I am the only person who hears it, I need to make it for me.

Where is it going?

Wherever I go I suppose.

3. What stands in you way to get there

Crippling self doubt

Author:  P0607r0n [ Wed Jun 21, 2017 1:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

1. What is your art really about?
Hate I feel when I think of this world of ours.
Beauty of things that are all over us.

2. Where is it going?
The fact that "it is going" is very positive for me on it's own.
Infinite spiral
3. What stands in your way to get there?
Nothing, but myself.

Author:  Kromasome [ Wed Jun 21, 2017 3:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

Fascinating topic, really interesting to read the responses so far.

1. What drives you to make music, which itch are you scratching with producing music?
Loved music for as long as I can remember. From my mum playing classical piano when I was a toddler, or her blaring tubular bells through my dad's custom/home built speakers for all of the neighbours to enjoy, to my dad hammering deep purple and led zep through the same system, to Jean Michelle-Jarre playing out of the old family sedan while we had barbecues and swam in the local rivers. I think it all began there. The drivers behind making music have evolved over the years, but I guess more recently (ie last 10 or 15 years, maybe more) it's been about the emotion for me - whether it was dance music or not, if it moves me emotionally then I'm into it - and I think this is where I'm at with doing my own music. Combined with the absolute horrors we see everyday in the modern world (that I just can't comprehend ie primarily violence and abuse against those who can least protect themselves), I think I create music as a means of transferring these feelings into something tangible. Of course I also love to see people lose their shit to a great track and would one day love for my music to have this effect too. I also desperately want to leave something behind that my family (mainly my kids) can be proud of when I'm gone. I know that some people would say that just providing for them is enough, but I'd love to be some sort of inspiration for them to go on to great things and I don't feel that just holding a stable job and giving them a solid upbringing is all that inspiring to be honest. I'd also like to stick it up a certain family member who many years ago asked my wife "is he ever going to do anything with his music?!?"

2. What is your art really about?
As others have said, I don't think I'm talented enough to call what I do art, but if my work can connect to others on an emotional level (bit of a stretch sometimes with techno, but is definitely possible and what makes the great tracks so good) and make them feel good or help create a great mood or fit into a good set then I think I would be happy with that. The first hurdle is getting myself to feel it first (this obviously leads into the next couple of questions)

3. Where is it going?
Not very far at the moment other than constantly trying to improve my sound and ability every day. I was once almost obsessed with the idea that I could make a living out of it, but I think times and circumstances have changed that means that is currently pretty unlikely to happen. I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that this will just only ever be a hobby, but I'd still like in some way to be able to present it in some shape or form as a body of work for my family and friends to have access to, to see that I wasn't just endlessly tweaking the filter cutoff knob every night.

4. What stands in your way to get there?
Also like everyone else has said - me, myself and I. I'd love more energy and time, but I'm also not sure that this would be enough to get me to a place where I would be content with what I have made.

I could probably write a lot more, but should probably get back to doing some work and don't want to bore the shit out of anyone anymore than I already have!!

Author:  1nfinitezer0 [ Thu Jun 22, 2017 12:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why we do what we do, and why we sometimes cant.

Great topic, seeing all of the reasons that brought people to this place and things we have in common is really nice.

0. What drives you to make music, which itch are you scratching with producing music?
I was a soprano lead until my balls dropped. I always liked music, listening to my Dad's records with a preference for Deep Purple, Alan Parsons and Michael Jackson. In grade 4 my teacher did the after school choir program, and she saw something needing to be nurtured in me. I was an outcast, ostracized. I largely compensated through mental pursuits. But I could sing pretty well, it felt great.

Then I was naturally drawn to electronic music for the futuristic visions, unique timbres, it was uncommon and thus was 'special', and of course - the danceable rhythms. Captivating sound signatures or things that create worlds in your imagination appealed to me.

Upon discovering raves: I loved the freedom of expression and individuality, started DJing, and helped to import the electronic music to the local hippies. Living in idealistic counter-culture, a vision for a better world.

I think the drive behind it is the steadfast belief that my vision and understanding of the world are worth sharing creatively and that meaningful communication happens through wordless music.

1. What is your art really about?
Exploration. Meaning. Texture. Depth. What it means to be human in the context of Nature that birthed us, and in awe of the Universe beyond our conceptions.
I use a lot of nature sounds sampled, microsampled, transformed, glitched. I'm interested in the fusion of technology and organic and how that shapes our perceptions.
I like densely layered things that you can get lost in. I dream of recreating acoustic spaces that make you feel like you're in a rainforest. From doing bird-watching I practiced being able to accurately locate the origins of sound, and looooooooooove echoes (gimme all the dub).

2. Where is it going?
I'm finally reaching the point where I'm (mostly) satisfied with how my stuff sounds from a technical standpoint. I'm really happy with where I'm at with it in my life and where I see it going. I've got some big goals that seem totally achievable, but it's unlikely to be what I ever do full time. Too many other creative and career pursuits that I'm passionate about.
I did just get a booking for a festival that was on my bucket list, so I'm retooling my liveset from the ground up for that.
A medium term goal after that is to have 30 releases within 10 years.

Why will I still be doing it until the day my brainwaves can no longer control the machines? Creative exploration and the ability to connect with the community anywhere in the world that's never fit with the main stream and believes a better world is possible.

3. What stands in your way to get there?
Life. Finances. Time. Contacts.
DJing wasn't paying for itself the way I was running it, but I also didn't want the lifestyle or the hustle to make it work. So that's fine. Making tunes on my own time and playing the odd gig still gives me the satisfaction within it that I need.
The professional side will continue to develop with time.
Oddly enough, music is the part of my life where I've never had any problems with motivation, inner game, or productivity. Perhaps because there's never been a sense of obligation or responsibility.

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