Sorry I went AWOL for so long

[jordanneke]

Yo Lads and Lasses,

I know I should be a much more active member, but my Dad suffered with cancer for 5 years, then died painfully and slowly, now my Mom has early onset dementia and due to the corona shit, I couldn't get over to see her and sort stuff out. I just spent the last 6 months dealing with shit



Anyway, enough with the good news!


Back to making music innit.

[Mslwte]

No problem at all mate. We've all been a bit distant from the forum lately, myself included.

Really sorry to hear about what you've been going through.

The subsekt cunts are always here when you are ready

[2latuile]

Man, I can feel your pain - what's happening to your parents and you is really no fun, and I know what it feels like :-/ All I can say is hold tight and don't forget to take care of yourself.

[jordanneke]

Cheers dudes,

As long as there is air to breathe, beer to drink and company to enjoy, life's not so bad!

[speen]

That new tune on SoundCloud is really dope

[tsaro]

Man that sucks, my dad also passed and it can be real hard to live through something like that. Good luck man.

[Ben Kohonays]

Yo Lads and Lasses,

I know I should be a much more active member, but my Dad suffered with cancer for 5 years, then died painfully and slowly, now my Mom has early onset dementia and due to the corona shit, I couldn't get over to see her and sort stuff out. I just spent the last 6 months dealing with shit

That's pretty rough. Dementia can be a headfuck, when your own parent doesn't remember stuff about you it's a weird trip.

Glad to see you're still wearing your best purple frock though.

[Ben Kohonays]

The subsekt cunts are always here when you are ready

That needs repurposing.

The subsekt cunts - band name

The subsekt cunts are always here when you are ready - album/EP title

cunts are always here - blog about parliament

[Amøbe]

That sounds rough! Hope you are holding up, and no need to be sorry <3 It is nice to have you back again, though

[Críoch]

Sorry to hear about all that Jordan.

Don't worry about it mate. You have to find time for the kids & missus too & then yourself lastly. That's how it goes!

[[wesellboxes]]

My dad developed quite severe dementia in the space of a week last November. He's been in hospital and now a psychiatric hospital ever since. It's not been easy so feel your pain.

If there's anything to be learnt, and this goes out to everyone, is to make sure that you have power of attorney sorted if you have parents advancing in years. I didn't and it's taken me 10 months to get guardianship awarded through the courts. As mentioned my dad went from "normal" to how he is now in 7 days so it's not something to be sorted out later and elderly mental health issues are not gradual things that start with forgetting keys and so on.

For any parents that might be worried, power of attorney is not handing over all their money, house and car early for offspring to do as they like. It's simply managing their money and anyone with POA has to keep records and report on what they've spent on their parent's behalf.

Anyway, all the best Jordan

[Ben Kohonays]

A week? Holy shit I didn't know it could come on that fast. My dad was slowly over a long period.

[msl]

Fuck that's rough man. My sympathies. Both my parents died of cancer within a year. Was hard but things are much better now. Hang in there.

[jordanneke]

Thanks Lads.

Appreciate it all massively.

When we all started dancing to this music that we loved, everything was new, vibrant and fresh. Life was pretty care-free. Then little by little life changes, gets more serious and we have less fun.

I need to remind myself some-times.

HAVE MORE FUN, it's late already

[timc3]

Damn guys, really sorry to hear whats being going on in your life's, as msl said "Hang in there".

[[wesellboxes]]

A week? Holy shit I didn't know it could come on that fast. My dad was slowly over a long period.

Yeah, I live far from my dad so we'd only see each other 2-3 times a year but I'd usually call every week or so. One week was normal, the usual chat about my family, the football and the weather. The next week, he was as he is now. Got about 10% normal brain capacity and the rest is all mash-up of his life and whatever.

All due to haemorrhaging and I guess that had been building up for a while but manifested itself very quickly.

[Ben Kohonays]

A week? Holy shit I didn't know it could come on that fast. My dad was slowly over a long period.

Yeah, I live far from my dad so we'd only see each other 2-3 times a year but I'd usually call every week or so. One week was normal, the usual chat about my family, the football and the weather. The next week, he was as he is now. Got about 10% normal brain capacity and the rest is all mash-up of his life and whatever.

All due to haemorrhaging and I guess that had been building up for a while but manifested itself very quickly.

That's a shock to the system, being so rapid.

[jordanneke]

A week? Holy shit I didn't know it could come on that fast. My dad was slowly over a long period.

Yeah, I live far from my dad so we'd only see each other 2-3 times a year but I'd usually call every week or so. One week was normal, the usual chat about my family, the football and the weather. The next week, he was as he is now. Got about 10% normal brain capacity and the rest is all mash-up of his life and whatever.

All due to haemorrhaging and I guess that had been building up for a while but manifested itself very quickly.

Dude. That's fucked. How are you managing to cope with it all? Not too much self medicating I hope.

[terryfalafel]

Sorry to hear this Jordan - tough times

[[wesellboxes]]

Dude. That's fucked. How are you managing to cope with it all? Not too much self medicating I hope.

I hit the booze fairly heavily until it all came to a head with a bit of a breakdown on Hogmanay. Did dry January which helped me refocus a bit but yeah, ongoing it's a bit of a challenge to process it all keep my own head above water. Especially with other things in life going on too.

Quite often my dad is chatty but his memory is like a broken hard drive, it's all there but the recall is random i.e. he saw my mum or his brothers yesterday (long time dead) or he was at some part of town earlier or he had just finished his work and describes a job he did 30 years or so ago.

The best days are when I have a substantial amount of news for him such as my kid winning a prize at school and what I've been up too and he responds to that like any other dad and grandad. Sometimes not much has happened so I let him ramble and that can be tough to take in at times.

The worst time was when I last saw him in person and he was extremely lucid. He knew he was in a hospital and getting treatment but said when he got better he'd like to take me and my family on a holiday, paid for by him as a treat. The reality is he probably won't be leaving the hospital and that moment of hope for him was a seriously bad punch in the guts for me.

For the most part, it's day by day and getting guardianship and now beginning to manage his affairs and so on gives me a project to keep the focus on, which helps.

Best of luck with your mum. Feel free to chat more here or PM if you think it will help. I'm not sure how many answers I have but I am here and listening.